I'm Not Proud of this Post.

Two days ago, on Thursday, I yelled at Blanche. And I mean, I yelled at her. We were sitting in the living room having dinner - we eat on tray tables in front of the TV. I know, not the best idea, but with the TV noise, we don't hear the increasingly loud noises that Blanche makes while she eats. Selfish of us, but walk a mile in our shoes before you toss those stones. Tracy was in the kitchen and I got up and brought my plate into the kitchen. As I came back into the living room, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Blanche toss a piece of pork to my dog, Petie, but I just wasn't sure.

So I sat back down and waited for her to finish eating, confident that if she had fed Petie, she wouldn't repeat it with me sitting right there. (Just for the record, we have told her repeatedly that the dogs cannot eat people food). So as I sat there, I watched her put a piece of pork in her hand, but she was eating it with her hand so I still thought it was okay. Then in the blink of an eye, with her left hand, she flipped the piece of pork to Hazel, my other dog. I just lost it! I said, "what are you doing?" She replied, "What?"

I said, "I've asked you repeatedly not to feed my dogs people food and you just did that exact thing!"

"No, I didn't", she said.

So I was so angry, I kept yelling at her. And like a child, she just got very quiet and went back to her apartment within five minutes of my tirade.

What's the point of this story? And I mean that literally - I'm asking you. There is no point. By the time she walked 1 minute back to her apartment she had no memory of our altercation and I was left steaming for the next hour.

So, here I sit, on a Saturday night, still feeling bad, and trying to be a better person about this whole situation. But it is a constant struggle. I know it won't be like this forever and we just have to hang in there and continue to do the right thing and make sure Blanche is taken care of for as long as we can take care of her. It's hard to remember that in the moments when she's tossing pork to my dogs...bye for now.