It's been three weeks to the day since we moved Blanche into Kensington Green. And, for me, the sun seems brighter, the sky more blue and food tastes better! It's really amazing to take back our house and to have our privacy, and our lives back. This may sound harsh, but the past year it became very challenging to have to keep an eye on Blanche every single time she came over to our house.
Now we at least know she's safe, well-fed and taken care of every single day. Our biggest challenge so far has been to stop her from packing up her belongings every other day. They're also getting better at keeping an eye on this activity at Kensington Green.
Tracy is going to see her tomorrow. I can't go - yet another family funeral for me to attend. So I'll keep you posted.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Just Nine Days In...
...and Blanche is still packing up her stuff to go "home". We went to visit on Sunday. We got there at 10:30 and she was sleeping! Just laying on her bed, fully dressed and out like a light. The TV and lights were off and the blinds were closed. And to me, the room smelled. Tracy said it was the new paint, but I just didn't think so. Blanche had her bathroom door closed and when she does that, Cleo can't get into the bathroom. Sure enough, we found a sweater on the floor that the cat had peed on. What also bothered me about that was that there were at least six or seven people sitting out in the common area doing different things with two aides supervising them. As far as I'm concerned, Blanche should have been out there as well.
After we woke Blanche up, we realized that she had not showered in probably the entire week she had been there! Tracy went and told the nurse that her mother had packed everything up again. She had even taken the pictures off the walls! The nurse was surprised. She said everything was fine earlier that morning. I doubted that. It didn't take just an hour to do everything Blanche had done. Apparently she had also been telling everyone at breakfast that Sunday was her last day there and she would be going home. So I guess we can assume she is not adjusted yet.
Back to the shower issue. An aide came in and told Tracy that her mother had refused a shower every single day that week and that she has the right of refusal! Really?! The aide said that everyday Blanche would already be dressed and would tell whoever came in to "cue" her to shower that she was already dressed and was not going to take her clothes off. So I butted in and asked the aide if they can cue her at night to shower instead. She said they could probably change the schedule and do that. What schedule? She's not doing it in the morning, so there is no schedule! I was very angry. These people are supposed to be the professionals.
At that point, Tracy had her mother in the bathroom and was getting her in the shower. Blanche complained that the water was too cold and sure enough, Tracy said the waster wasn't really getting hot. I wouldn't take a lukewarm shower either. We reported that and the aide said maintenance would come in and look at it. Then the aide went into the bathroom, closed the door and made sure that Blanche showered and washed her hair. The woman was great - she even shaved under Blanche's arms. Needless to say, I stayed faaaaar away from the bathroom. There's a reason I'm not in health care!
After that whole drama, I asked the aide if whenever someone comes in to check on Blanche or take her somewhere, if they can please make sure the bathroom door is open so the cat can get to the litter. To me, it's common sense. They know she has a cat; they know the litter is in the bathroom; they know Blanche has Alzheimer's. Hello! We actually hung a curtain in the doorway and then propped the bathroom door open with Blanche's laundry basket. We'll see if that sticks. I just feel bad for Cleo. I'm pretty sure she didn't want to pee on the sweater that was on the floor, but if the bathroom door was closed, she had no choice. And I'm also sure if she keeps peeing on the floor, they'll make us take her back. The rule is that Blanche has to be able to take care of her.
I also noticed something that I did not mention to Tracy simply because she's dealing with enough. It seemed to me that Blanche was less chatty and more distant than she's ever been. It's almost as if she's being less engaged now than when she was living here. It could have been because we woke her out of a dead sleep. We actually had to walk right into the room and stand over her bed before she woke up. She did seem better the longer we were there. We decided to have lunch with her in their main dining room just to spend a little more time there.
Tracy took her laundry to do and we're going to bring it back tonight. We are going to Angela's house for dinner to celebrate Cierra's birthday and we're going to take Blanche with us. We had also decided that when we have picnics this summer, we were going to make sure that we go get Blanche, but now we're not so sure that's a good idea. If she comes back here, she may think she can stay and that will start this whole painful process all over. I think instead we'll just take her to picnics that my brother or my cousins have. That probably makes more sense.
Anyway, so that's been the first nine days and counting. While it's still a huge issue in our lives, the difference now is that when we walk out of Kensington Green, the problem physically stays there and doesn't come home and live with us. That is definitely making a difference in our quality of life here at home.
After we woke Blanche up, we realized that she had not showered in probably the entire week she had been there! Tracy went and told the nurse that her mother had packed everything up again. She had even taken the pictures off the walls! The nurse was surprised. She said everything was fine earlier that morning. I doubted that. It didn't take just an hour to do everything Blanche had done. Apparently she had also been telling everyone at breakfast that Sunday was her last day there and she would be going home. So I guess we can assume she is not adjusted yet.
Back to the shower issue. An aide came in and told Tracy that her mother had refused a shower every single day that week and that she has the right of refusal! Really?! The aide said that everyday Blanche would already be dressed and would tell whoever came in to "cue" her to shower that she was already dressed and was not going to take her clothes off. So I butted in and asked the aide if they can cue her at night to shower instead. She said they could probably change the schedule and do that. What schedule? She's not doing it in the morning, so there is no schedule! I was very angry. These people are supposed to be the professionals.
At that point, Tracy had her mother in the bathroom and was getting her in the shower. Blanche complained that the water was too cold and sure enough, Tracy said the waster wasn't really getting hot. I wouldn't take a lukewarm shower either. We reported that and the aide said maintenance would come in and look at it. Then the aide went into the bathroom, closed the door and made sure that Blanche showered and washed her hair. The woman was great - she even shaved under Blanche's arms. Needless to say, I stayed faaaaar away from the bathroom. There's a reason I'm not in health care!
After that whole drama, I asked the aide if whenever someone comes in to check on Blanche or take her somewhere, if they can please make sure the bathroom door is open so the cat can get to the litter. To me, it's common sense. They know she has a cat; they know the litter is in the bathroom; they know Blanche has Alzheimer's. Hello! We actually hung a curtain in the doorway and then propped the bathroom door open with Blanche's laundry basket. We'll see if that sticks. I just feel bad for Cleo. I'm pretty sure she didn't want to pee on the sweater that was on the floor, but if the bathroom door was closed, she had no choice. And I'm also sure if she keeps peeing on the floor, they'll make us take her back. The rule is that Blanche has to be able to take care of her.
I also noticed something that I did not mention to Tracy simply because she's dealing with enough. It seemed to me that Blanche was less chatty and more distant than she's ever been. It's almost as if she's being less engaged now than when she was living here. It could have been because we woke her out of a dead sleep. We actually had to walk right into the room and stand over her bed before she woke up. She did seem better the longer we were there. We decided to have lunch with her in their main dining room just to spend a little more time there.
Tracy took her laundry to do and we're going to bring it back tonight. We are going to Angela's house for dinner to celebrate Cierra's birthday and we're going to take Blanche with us. We had also decided that when we have picnics this summer, we were going to make sure that we go get Blanche, but now we're not so sure that's a good idea. If she comes back here, she may think she can stay and that will start this whole painful process all over. I think instead we'll just take her to picnics that my brother or my cousins have. That probably makes more sense.
Anyway, so that's been the first nine days and counting. While it's still a huge issue in our lives, the difference now is that when we walk out of Kensington Green, the problem physically stays there and doesn't come home and live with us. That is definitely making a difference in our quality of life here at home.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Moving Day!
So it's a done deal. It was a long, emotional day for everyone - Blanche, Tracy and me. Even our friend Wendy, who helped me with the movers and packing Blanche's stuff wanted to "get out of Dodge" before Tracy and Blanche arrived at Kensington Green. Tracy had decided to tell her mother mostly the truth - that Blanche's doctor had decided it was better for her to "stay" at Kensington Green because she kept saying she didn't feel safe and felt isolated in her apartment. We never actually said the word "live". We kept telling Blanche she was going to "stay" there.
It went well for awhile. Blanche was confused about where she was and why she was going to stay there. She was happy that Cleo, her cat, was there, already sleeping peacefully in the closet. The three of us had lunch in the main dining room. It was okay, but the portions aren't nearly as large as what Blanche is used to eating.
We are hoping the cat doesn't become an issue. Tracy and I ran home to get some things I had forgotten and when we returned Blanche had put hand cream in one side of the cat's food bowl and had placed a pile of Calcium pills on the cat's place mat! Yikes! We didn't see that coming! So we took the Calcium pills home with us and threw away the hand cream, hoping that would help. We also told Blanche that she needed to just feed the cat plain old cat food or we would have to take Cleo away. That's the first time she starting crying a little.
When Tracy asked her why she was crying, she said "I just want us all to be together". Okay, that made me a little weepy too, but I quickly reined that in. The only real glitch came when one of the nurses came up to us and asked us to contact Cleo's vet and have copies of her rabies and distemper papers sent to them ASAP. Okay, except that Cleo is 16 and she doesn't go to the vet's because she is an inside, only pet. That didn't matter, so we had to make an emergency appointment with our vet and have him give Cleo the shots.
When we were leaving to take Cleo to the vet, Blanche was playing bingo. That was nice to see. We kind of snuck out before she saw us. When we returned, they were just taking her to dinner and as soon as she saw us, she turned to leave the nurse and kind of said, never mind, I'm all set now. We convinced her to continue on to dinner and we would see her later. Then we left, both of us a little weepy and completely drained. Our day had started at 6 a.m. and it was about 5:30 - very long for this type of thing.
We're going to see her today, but just for a little while. We don't want to eat with her again because we want her to get used to eating in the memory care dining room, which is different from the main dining room.
Even though Blanche is gone, I'll try to keep writing this blog because I think there will be much more to share as Blanche gets used to "staying" at Kensington Green.
Bye for now...
It went well for awhile. Blanche was confused about where she was and why she was going to stay there. She was happy that Cleo, her cat, was there, already sleeping peacefully in the closet. The three of us had lunch in the main dining room. It was okay, but the portions aren't nearly as large as what Blanche is used to eating.
We are hoping the cat doesn't become an issue. Tracy and I ran home to get some things I had forgotten and when we returned Blanche had put hand cream in one side of the cat's food bowl and had placed a pile of Calcium pills on the cat's place mat! Yikes! We didn't see that coming! So we took the Calcium pills home with us and threw away the hand cream, hoping that would help. We also told Blanche that she needed to just feed the cat plain old cat food or we would have to take Cleo away. That's the first time she starting crying a little.
When Tracy asked her why she was crying, she said "I just want us all to be together". Okay, that made me a little weepy too, but I quickly reined that in. The only real glitch came when one of the nurses came up to us and asked us to contact Cleo's vet and have copies of her rabies and distemper papers sent to them ASAP. Okay, except that Cleo is 16 and she doesn't go to the vet's because she is an inside, only pet. That didn't matter, so we had to make an emergency appointment with our vet and have him give Cleo the shots.
When we were leaving to take Cleo to the vet, Blanche was playing bingo. That was nice to see. We kind of snuck out before she saw us. When we returned, they were just taking her to dinner and as soon as she saw us, she turned to leave the nurse and kind of said, never mind, I'm all set now. We convinced her to continue on to dinner and we would see her later. Then we left, both of us a little weepy and completely drained. Our day had started at 6 a.m. and it was about 5:30 - very long for this type of thing.
We're going to see her today, but just for a little while. We don't want to eat with her again because we want her to get used to eating in the memory care dining room, which is different from the main dining room.
Even though Blanche is gone, I'll try to keep writing this blog because I think there will be much more to share as Blanche gets used to "staying" at Kensington Green.
Bye for now...
The Final Caregiver "Incident"
I'm a little late with this post, so I'll try to catch everyone up. This past Monday, I was heading outside to chop ice (and yes, I'm really tired of that). As I was leaving the house, I smelled something burning coming from Blanche's apartment. I didn't worry about it because the "I Don't Caregiver" was there and it was her watch.
Later, as the caregiver was leaving and I was still outside, she told me Blanche had burned some bread in the microwave and that it had burned so badly it had melted the plastic rotator thing in the microwave. So I bluntly asked, "where were you when Blanche was doing that?" The caregiver replied, "well I thought she was going to the bathroom and I don't follow her everytime she goes to the bathroom!"
As politely as I could, I said, "well you do have to follow her to either make sure she is going to the bathroom, or to see what she's doing in the kitchen." I was livid because all I could think of was how long did it take to burn something like that in a small microwave? Five minutes? Ten minutes? Twenty minutes? No really! So the caregiver sat on her a** in the living room doing who knows what while Blanche ruined the microwave and smelled up her apartment (and our house) for the next three days. I was really angry and I had to keep reminding myself that it was almost over.
Considering that this particular caregiver has been spending time with Blanche for several months, it is beyond my comprehension that she could allow this to happen. Okay, deep breath...it doesn't matter anymore and I would be hard-pressed to recommend this caregiving service to anyone moving forward.
Now on the moving day...
Later, as the caregiver was leaving and I was still outside, she told me Blanche had burned some bread in the microwave and that it had burned so badly it had melted the plastic rotator thing in the microwave. So I bluntly asked, "where were you when Blanche was doing that?" The caregiver replied, "well I thought she was going to the bathroom and I don't follow her everytime she goes to the bathroom!"
As politely as I could, I said, "well you do have to follow her to either make sure she is going to the bathroom, or to see what she's doing in the kitchen." I was livid because all I could think of was how long did it take to burn something like that in a small microwave? Five minutes? Ten minutes? Twenty minutes? No really! So the caregiver sat on her a** in the living room doing who knows what while Blanche ruined the microwave and smelled up her apartment (and our house) for the next three days. I was really angry and I had to keep reminding myself that it was almost over.
Considering that this particular caregiver has been spending time with Blanche for several months, it is beyond my comprehension that she could allow this to happen. Okay, deep breath...it doesn't matter anymore and I would be hard-pressed to recommend this caregiving service to anyone moving forward.
Now on the moving day...
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