Just Nine Days In...

...and Blanche is still packing up her stuff to go "home". We went to visit on Sunday. We got there at 10:30 and she was sleeping! Just laying on her bed, fully dressed and out like a light. The TV and lights were off and the blinds were closed. And to me, the room smelled. Tracy said it was the new paint, but I just didn't think so. Blanche had her bathroom door closed and when she does that, Cleo can't get into the bathroom. Sure enough, we found a sweater on the floor that the cat had peed on. What also bothered me about that was that there were at least six or seven people sitting out in the common area doing different things with two aides supervising them. As far as I'm concerned, Blanche should have been out there as well.

After we woke Blanche up, we realized that she had not showered in probably the entire week she had been there! Tracy went and told the nurse that her mother had packed everything up again. She had even taken the pictures off the walls! The nurse was surprised. She said everything was fine earlier that morning. I doubted that. It didn't take just an hour to do everything Blanche had done. Apparently she had also been telling everyone at breakfast that Sunday was her last day there and she would be going home. So I guess we can assume she is not adjusted yet.

Back to the shower issue. An aide came in and told Tracy that her mother had refused a shower every single day that week and that she has the right of refusal! Really?! The aide said that everyday Blanche would already be dressed and would tell whoever came in to "cue" her to shower that she was already dressed and was not going to take her clothes off. So I butted in and asked the aide if they can cue her at night to shower instead. She said they could probably change the schedule and do that. What schedule? She's not doing it in the morning, so there is no schedule! I was very angry. These people are supposed to be the professionals.

At that point, Tracy had her mother in the bathroom and was getting her in the shower. Blanche complained that the water was too cold and sure enough, Tracy said the waster wasn't really getting hot. I wouldn't take a lukewarm shower either. We reported that and the aide said maintenance would come in and look at it. Then the aide went into the bathroom, closed the door and made sure that Blanche showered and washed her hair. The woman was great - she even shaved under Blanche's arms. Needless to say, I stayed faaaaar away from the bathroom. There's a reason I'm not in health care!

After that whole drama, I asked the aide if whenever someone comes in to check on Blanche or take her somewhere, if they can please make sure the bathroom door is open so the cat can get to the litter. To me, it's common sense. They know she has a cat; they know the litter is in the bathroom; they know Blanche has Alzheimer's. Hello! We actually hung a curtain in the doorway and then propped the bathroom door open with Blanche's laundry basket. We'll see if that sticks. I just feel bad for Cleo. I'm pretty sure she didn't want to pee on the sweater that was on the floor, but if the bathroom door was closed, she had no choice. And I'm also sure if she keeps peeing on the floor, they'll make us take her back. The rule is that Blanche has to be able to take care of her.

I also noticed something that I did not mention to Tracy simply because she's dealing with enough. It seemed to me that Blanche was less chatty and more distant than she's ever been. It's almost as if she's being less engaged now than when she was living here. It could have been because we woke her out of a dead sleep. We actually had to walk right into the room and stand over her bed before she woke up. She did seem better the longer we were there. We decided to have lunch with her in their main dining room just to spend a little more time there.

Tracy took her laundry to do and we're going to bring it back tonight. We are going to Angela's house for dinner to celebrate Cierra's birthday and we're going to take Blanche with us. We had also decided that when we have picnics this summer, we were going to make sure that we go get Blanche, but now we're not so sure that's a good idea. If she comes back here, she may think she can stay and that will start this whole painful process all over. I think instead we'll just take her to picnics that my brother or my cousins have. That probably makes more sense.

Anyway, so that's been the first nine days and counting. While it's still a huge issue in our lives, the difference now is that when we walk out of Kensington Green, the problem physically stays there and doesn't come home and live with us. That is definitely making a difference in our quality of life here at home.