My Children Are Missing!

That was today's theme. Starting at 3:30 - well before my 5:30 "stop working" time. I've been getting good at ignoring the intrusions but today Blanche banged so hard on the doors I thought they would come off the hinges. She tried to tell me her children were missing. I explained where both of her children were at that moment - Tracy at work; and her son Rich in Florida where he lives with his family.

Her response? "No, not those children. My little children." Okay, so I said, "you don't have any little children." "You don't know about them," she responded. I just ended up agreeing with her and walking away. No point in carrying that conversation any further than I needed to, right?

Today, I researched facilities where Blanche can go when the time is right. I personally think the time is right now, but I'm not her daughter. I'm not sure what Tracy's take is on it since we have difficulty discussing it most of the time.

Oops - hold on! Blanche just came over asking if my black cat Purr-Cee is her cat. We told her no, and Tracy asked her why she has a skirt on over her pajamas and Blanche said, "what difference does it make?" Ain't that the truth! What difference does it make? Usually once Blanche takes her night pills and goes over to her apartment, she does not come back. But tonight she was more agitated than usual and she came over twice. The first time she was asking for something to feed her cat. So Tracy went home with her to show her the 24 cans of cat food we had bought her on Sunday and that ended that event. So obviously she is still agitated or she would not have come back over.

Back to the assisted living facilities. I found a handful of places in New Haven County that offer "Memory Care Services". It's all so nice and sanitized. The woman is losing her mind and she seems to have more frequent moments of clarity. At least once a day, she flat out says to me, "I think I'm losing my mind", and I just try to reassure her that her memory is not so good these days. What the hell else am I supposed to tell her? I'm no therapist or counselor, but my take on it is that if her family spent more time with her talking about the past and reminiscing with her, she wouldn't be so agitated as much as she is. The problem is the only family that cares is Tracy and despite her many wonderful qualities, patience is not her strong suit. She has a sister in Connecticut, but if she's in contact with Blanche, I'm not aware of it. Given that she's a nurse and must understand how this illness works, she should be in contact with her sister on a daily basis. But Tracy has really been abandoned by her entire family at this point.

I'm not saying that there's only one way to handle someone with Alzheimer's, but that's personally what I would do if my mom or dad had the illness. My dad has been diagnosed with mild dementia and whenever I go visit them, I try to either bring old pictures for us to look at, or I just I just ask him about how things were when he was young. He has much more clarity when talking about the old days than if you try to ask him how his blood sugar was that day.

Let's end this session with the dream I had last night, well actually this morning. I slept poorly, waking about at least half a dozen times. So I slept in a little longer than usual and that's when I had the dream. My entire family on my mom's side was out our house. Blanche was being unbelievably annoying AND she had super-human strength! She tore the door off between our house and her apartment. Then she went to get a cup of coffee and I apparently yelled at her for something and she threw her coffee mug at me! It clocked me square on the forehead. It was so real that when I woke up, I immediately touched my hand to my forehead, expecting to feel a bump. Finally, in the dream, my mom was there to tell me that Blanche had slammed the coffee pot down on the counter and had broken it. Yikes! What does it all mean?